Monday, August 1, 2016

eh.itamnye ko!


I did notice something was trending at Malaysia. Especially with outer appearances. For my observation, the youngster will to put up some make on their whenever they go. I think even go to next neighbor. Hehe. Just kidding. It’s practically sad for me because the chemical reaction was reacting at their young age. But the main point is, they feel insecure with their self.

“I need to be pretty”
“I need to be fair”
“I need to be skinny”

I surely understand at this at this part, the inner feeling was rebelling to make another embrace us. I also done with that phase where need other attention to build up my confidence. It’s up to personal to manage their feeling and how they react with that. The beauty is not state at some point that you need to be skinny and so on, but whatever that make you feel comfortable with yourself its sure make you beautiful

What have I through during my teenagers was not really bad. But it still made some scars on my experiences. At my boarding school, I was introduced with this fair skin product to make you fair than ever. As a teenager I also want to be fair as Emma maaembong even though my skin was like negro (no offense). When I tried the product, my skin totally fairer than ever, but the pimple makes it war with me. Then I stop using that and I also active with outdoor activity. My skin went normal. Then some of my teacher did make a comment about my skin. She sounds like “what happen to your face? It’s getting darker. Pity ah youu” she did complaint it in front of the classes. But I make it as a joke even though at first I felt so embarrassed. As long my skin was fine. I felt so happy about it.

But the confidence level turns down when at work. It suddenly feels so offense about the fairness of my skin. My click always make fun of it. Yes, I know that all my click(ladies) was fair and beautiful than me. Its not like I am jealous or something, but the self-esteem became worse than ever. I used to cry at toilet when they make a joke about my skin. Sometimes I took a whitening cream so that I can be more confidence about my appearance.

Did I survive with this issue? Yes. It might be hard at first but it certainly worth it when you have surrounding by a good partner and friends that always support you and make you feel better for yourself. Eventually, I am still struggling with this issues and hope that other who have a same shoes with me will survive and stay strong for the future. By age 30, I will not bother with this stuff. I will always support who are ever felt this way.

1 comment:

  1. I still feel insecure at times, but mostly I just ignore whatever/whoever trying to drag me down, especially on my size. I am soooo used to hear people asking me, "Why ah you are getting fat" or "You are a lady and you are fat" mostly from people close to me. Of course I feel offended at first, but who cares? Whether I am fat, skinny, fair, dark, tall, or short, they should just shut up and live their life. Am I right? Tapi tipula kan kalo hati kebal je dengar kutukan2 tu sob3.

    Dut, we are facing the same issue here even though the subjects are different. Just wanted to let you know, you are beautiful just the way you are (cam lirik lagu kan hahaha), inside out. Hitam ke, geap ke, putih ke, cerah ke, as long as you have a beautiful heart, that matter the most.